Friday, February 24, 2012

Rusty Colored Dreams

So when you read this your going to think man this person has problems. giggle...but really it is proof of self growth.

The style of this dream was so raw and gritty it was amazing. it was like dreaming in a comic book. enjoy the twisted story my subconscious has placed before us.

The background was a dirty muddy watercolor of rusty colors and washes. Strong broken wire like outlines. Gritty splatters in the background. There was an old grumpy man who kept telling me I couldn't do things. He was very small, like the size of a child's stuffed toy. looked poisoned with anger. His skin was sick and wrinkled. The clothes he wore were like a smelly wounded homeless mans. He kept coming at me and laughing in my face with his smoke stained teeth. I finally decided I didn't need to take it anymore! So I picked him up and threw him down on a table top at what seemed to be a putrid bar scene. I smashed his body down like a rag doll several times. He continued to taunt me. My rage grew stronger. His face and small body lay broken. He looked at me and said u my child are nothing more than...before he could finish I threw him into the fireplace and watched him quickly vanish into a melting ash. Feeling scared and worried I would be arrested I told no one. I turn to see two people asleep tossing and turning in a booth. Laying there was a beautiful women...her face covered in dirty black smudges from all her hard work. A slight smile comes across her face. Behind her wedged between this woman's back and the booth was a child. A little girl...she must be lily. She looked like lily. I tuck them in and kiss the child. I say in a sad but sure tone, I must go now....


I truly believe this dream was about me destroying my doubts and fears. This was intense.
I was the woman who destroyed the evil. The rebel, the warrior! I was also the woman who was asleep with the baby. A hard working beauty. Sometimes I struggle with my feelings of being a good mom and still feeling like a beautiful women and a strong lady.

This is an older painting (the unfinished photo)  that has the feeling of the crazy anger and sickness that was in this dream...but not the style
maybe I will try some sketches and watercolors in this style.