What Dreams Have Come?

So I will say that last night for some odd reason I could not sleep and my mind was wondering through so many new thoughts and ideas.
You know most of my life as I began trying to be an artist I couldn't think of anything!! Total blanks all the time! I hated the feeling of having so much at my finger tips (markers, paint, wool, glass, clay, cake, fabric...)
Yet for the LIFE of me I just sat there.
Part of the problem was at this time I was still doing the tortured artist thing and choose to be a big "fun" Drunk!
So after years and years I found out that...it wasn't really working out for me. So I found a man, fell deeply in love and well...WE HAD A BABY!
Yes, a BABY!
She is 2 months old now and super amazing! I always wanted to be a mommy. I was scared. I think that my art bloomed into something brand new though. At this time I knew I and my body were very important.

I started back at college, Started doing my art A LOT more and ...(deep breath)

DRUM ROLL....STOPPED DRINKING!!

Since then...I realized how nice it is to just have a few drinks and relax. I know now that I don't need to get wasted to feel my feelings more or less, I can control that on my own. I guess since my "Issues" were so dark and deep that I felt it was the only way to communicate with that side. To be so far out there and to just keep drinking till my subconscious took care of the art. Sometimes I found amazing work, but most of the time my concepts were so cloudy that they were to full of pain and loss of my basic motor functions that it was all BAD NEWS!

So now, I have started to express my self through an aware state of mind. One thing is that idea's flow like a fresh stream that has come back from it's frozen state to thrive and feed the dry cracked ground that was my heart and soul.
Ahhh a re-freshening drink of feeling true happy, real emotions, no drama, and the pain has been numbed out not by my wasted brain being drunk in a stupor but by my soul calming it self and becoming ready to grow and move on. (sorry that was way to long and had a lot of and's)

Anyways...what does all this rambling mean?
I was thinking last night that this is like my moment to be my own 007! *bang bang*
(opening music)
OH YEAH!....I am here to fight the battles and get my assignments done!
Project 13 is a GO!

so here are a few samples of things you will be let in on...Top Secret projects and operations!
Project: Clay Bomb (my sculptures)
Project: Big Bad Wolf (my small characters)
Project: Sexy City (an unfinished large collage on wood)
Project: Jolly Giant Canvas (making HUGE wood canvas to paint on)
Project: Wool Death (my needle felting)
Project: Red Eye (photo's that lead to inspiration)

Operation: Cold Feet (my hand painted shoes/runners)
Operation: Big Bang Theory (my Etsy shop)

Let me know what your looking forward to...or not...
Feedback makes this feel like I am not just talking to my self...which is fine I have a baby to talk to now...so there!
;)    and scene out...(007 music)
* BANG BANG*

SIDE NOTE:
I just got peeed on...so spell check will have to wait.
ahhh... the life of a mom and an artist!

A Fresh Start to The Sweet and Sour Me

Well,
   I guess I am here to join the rest of the world in the fun of over explaining ones self. A blog is such an odd thing. We all have such a strong need to communicate and share.
This for me will be more of Memories and Adventures!

For I Holla am a very strange little thing...If I do say so my self.

I am an ARTIST!

Took me a long time to be brave enough to say that with out feeling like I might not be. It's hard to call your self an artist. Does this mean that you must sell your life's work? You must show it in galleries? Or does it just mean that you must create what is in your mind and find a way to show it in a physical form for all to see?

Well...I still don't know the answer to that. I will hope it's the last one. What is this all about? Well, I am on a new path in this life. I have had a lot of changes. I will say though that, I am not a writer so just go with me on this and excuse the weird way of my typing.

I am starting this to explore my own mind.
How do I work through my art? What am I inspired by? Can I even sell my creations? Who might feel my art is more than just another painting? I will be explaining my good sides and my bad.

That is where the term/title Sweet Issues came from for me.
When I was 17 and just starting out in college I was told I needed to make up a name for my designs...(I was in Fashion in L.A. at the time)
So I thought and brainstormed and came up with Sweet Issues. Why?
Well, In my life and through out I felt there was 2 sides to Holla.

The Sweet: A child with an amazing imagination and a nothing can stop her attitude. Someone who loved to pretend, make up stories and characters in her head...play it out. Never worried about what others thought. Full of love and affection for everything and everyone. An explorer, one with passion to find pretty and new things. Innocent and very aware! Child like wonder.

The Issues: Call this the sour side, more of a silent storm creeping into a empty Field. That part of you that is sad, hurt, and angry at the world. So much for one person to go through. In the back of my mind I will always feel the darkness of the deaths that have fallen before me in my life. My daddy...The very 1st death I had to taste. Death by suicide...then along came 2 others the same. I felt my soul being smashed and re-built only to have it thrown down onto the cold floor again. Counting the pieces of my heart I realized some were missing... Could they ever be found again? Yes, in my art!

SOOooo...Before I bore you all to death, This is what I Holla am about in some ways. Keep reading to find out more. Photo's of paintings and other art I do will be posted along with the story and or what they mean to me.

Maybe someday I will be able to call my self an ARTIST that means something to more than just little old me.