Friday, October 8, 2010

What Dreams Have Come?

So I will say that last night for some odd reason I could not sleep and my mind was wondering through so many new thoughts and ideas.
You know most of my life as I began trying to be an artist I couldn't think of anything!! Total blanks all the time! I hated the feeling of having so much at my finger tips (markers, paint, wool, glass, clay, cake, fabric...)
Yet for the LIFE of me I just sat there.
Part of the problem was at this time I was still doing the tortured artist thing and choose to be a big "fun" Drunk!
So after years and years I found out that...it wasn't really working out for me. So I found a man, fell deeply in love and well...WE HAD A BABY!
Yes, a BABY!
She is 2 months old now and super amazing! I always wanted to be a mommy. I was scared. I think that my art bloomed into something brand new though. At this time I knew I and my body were very important.

I started back at college, Started doing my art A LOT more and ...(deep breath)

DRUM ROLL....STOPPED DRINKING!!

Since then...I realized how nice it is to just have a few drinks and relax. I know now that I don't need to get wasted to feel my feelings more or less, I can control that on my own. I guess since my "Issues" were so dark and deep that I felt it was the only way to communicate with that side. To be so far out there and to just keep drinking till my subconscious took care of the art. Sometimes I found amazing work, but most of the time my concepts were so cloudy that they were to full of pain and loss of my basic motor functions that it was all BAD NEWS!

So now, I have started to express my self through an aware state of mind. One thing is that idea's flow like a fresh stream that has come back from it's frozen state to thrive and feed the dry cracked ground that was my heart and soul.
Ahhh a re-freshening drink of feeling true happy, real emotions, no drama, and the pain has been numbed out not by my wasted brain being drunk in a stupor but by my soul calming it self and becoming ready to grow and move on. (sorry that was way to long and had a lot of and's)

Anyways...what does all this rambling mean?
I was thinking last night that this is like my moment to be my own 007! *bang bang*
(opening music)
OH YEAH!....I am here to fight the battles and get my assignments done!
Project 13 is a GO!

so here are a few samples of things you will be let in on...Top Secret projects and operations!
Project: Clay Bomb (my sculptures)
Project: Big Bad Wolf (my small characters)
Project: Sexy City (an unfinished large collage on wood)
Project: Jolly Giant Canvas (making HUGE wood canvas to paint on)
Project: Wool Death (my needle felting)
Project: Red Eye (photo's that lead to inspiration)

Operation: Cold Feet (my hand painted shoes/runners)
Operation: Big Bang Theory (my Etsy shop)

Let me know what your looking forward to...or not...
Feedback makes this feel like I am not just talking to my self...which is fine I have a baby to talk to now...so there!
;)    and scene out...(007 music)
* BANG BANG*

SIDE NOTE:
I just got peeed on...so spell check will have to wait.
ahhh... the life of a mom and an artist!

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