I want to be EXACTLY who I am

Sometimes we complain about research projects, about reading books on the lives of others, about having to learn something new...mostly out of being lazy, feeling like there is no real reason, or that we know how to do it well enough already.

But...I found out today that I used the information I learned in a way to help out a great friend. We should try harder to learn from others. We should notice when someone does good or overcomes the war in their life.

I think we all float along with worry. I feel like who am I to try and help someone else, what can I say that would change the world in their eyes.
But today I was exposed to this in a new way. I can only hope my daughter and husband see this side of me. I can hope that others understand that I am more than just someone struggling to be an "artist".

Every once in a while I say something that turns out well, something that feels huge...
Today that happened. So what ...I am patting my self on the back. We don't do that often enough I think. Giving in to the sadness and the hopelessness is so easy.

My friend was feeling beat down and lost. He felt like he needed to keep running to the one place that protected him...a place that was familiar and comfortable. In doing this he was making the same choices and trying to find someone to help fix his pain. I decide to tell him this was poisonous and not healthy. This is not easy to tell someone. In my mind I thought, Am I sure I should call him out on this? Is this my place to say anything?
Well I choose to use the words of a wise man I have been learning about.

Chuck Close

What a wonderful man...I adore him and his work! I would love to meet him someday.
Someone who says, "He is the happiest artist alive!"

I choose a few quotes from this man for my friend...just to pass on the idea of moving forward and not being scared. I have so much respect for him.

“The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who'll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you're sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that's almost never the case.”
― Chuck Close

Now the funny thing is part of this quote scares even me. I thrive off the idea that I need to find some inspiration...but the truth is...when I do just jump into drawing or painting sometimes it sucks and other times its way better than I could imagine...but either way I learn and I still do something that day!

The other quote I blessed this poor guy who was willing to ask me what to do (hehe) was this:

"I've always thought that problem-solving is highly overrated and that problem creation is far more interesting."

if you want to react personally you have to move away from other people's ideas.

you have to back yourself into your own corner where no one else's solutions apply and ask yourself to behave as an INDIVIDUAL.

So after all this he put
"..."

Then he said Thank you.
I realized that what we learn stays with us...

It is our choice to use it to help or hinder others. It is our moments in life that we can take what we have learned and put it to use or to just let it slip out the other ear and fade away.

I want to help! I want to feel emotional! I want to create!

I WANT TO BE EXACTLY WHO I AM!

What about you?